// This script loads the list of unfortunate events.
// LANGUAGE="JavaScript"

{
  function AddMisery(MessageArray, Misery)
  {
    MessageArray[MessageArray.length] = Misery;
  }

  var MsgListA;
  MsgListA = new Array();
  AddMisery(MsgListA, "Your life sucks, doesn't it?");
  AddMisery(MsgListA, "Your favorite sports team is in the toilet.");
  AddMisery(MsgListA, "Your kids can't hit the toilet.");
  AddMisery(MsgListA, "Your kids can hit the toilet, but don't want to.");
  AddMisery(MsgListA, "Your boss is a cruel slave driver.");
  AddMisery(MsgListA, "Your boss doesn't even pay you well for taking his abuse.");
  AddMisery(MsgListA, "The town is using eminent domain to take your house.");
  AddMisery(MsgListA, "The town is giving your property to Wal-Mart to build a parking lot.");
  AddMisery(MsgListA, "You never even shop at Wal-Mart.");
  AddMisery(MsgListA, "Your wife left you for another man.");
  AddMisery(MsgListA, "Your wife left you for another woman.");
  AddMisery(MsgListA, "You are the wife, you left your rotten husband, and the new one is just like the old one!");
  AddMisery(MsgListA, "Your 6-year-old daughter's rabbit died.");
  AddMisery(MsgListA, "Your 16-year-old daughter's rabbit died.");
  AddMisery(MsgListA, "You lost your car keys.");
  AddMisery(MsgListA, "You lost your car.");
  AddMisery(MsgListA, "You crashed your car.");
  AddMisery(MsgListA, "You never even had a car.");
  AddMisery(MsgListA, "Your job sucks.");
  AddMisery(MsgListA, "Your wife doesn't.");
  AddMisery(MsgListA, "Your favorite uncle died.");
  AddMisery(MsgListA, "Your favorite uncle left his entire fortune to his pet cat, Mr. Whiskers.");
  AddMisery(MsgListA, "You owe back taxes.");
  AddMisery(MsgListA, "The IRS is sending their SWAT team to collect your back taxes.");

  var MsgListB;
  MsgListB = new Array();
  AddMisery(MsgListB, "Oh, gawd! Life is so terrible, cruel and unkind! Why does all this stuff always happen to you?");
  AddMisery(MsgListB, "Woe and misery! Misfortune, disaster, flood, famine, hurricane, terror, sadness, painful rectal itch!");
  AddMisery(MsgListB, "It could only be worse in Cleveland!");
  AddMisery(MsgListB, "And you can never get the lids off of jelly jars!");
  AddMisery(MsgListB, "What did you ever do to deserve this?");
  AddMisery(MsgListB, "Why do the gods despise you so? Why do they mock you?!");
  AddMisery(MsgListB, "The stock market is up, and your stock is down! They're about to foreclose on your mortgage! Your credit cards are max'ed out. Anthony owes you a dollar for the vending machine!");
  AddMisery(MsgListB, "Gloom! Agony! Despair! The rabbit died. Several rabbits died!");
  AddMisery(MsgListB, "You have books overdue at the library!");
  AddMisery(MsgListB, "Have I mentioned that things aren't going well for you?");

  var MsgListC;
  MsgListC = new Array();
  AddMisery(MsgListC, "Your life sucks, doesn't?");
  AddMisery(MsgListC, "Things are so terrible!");
  AddMisery(MsgListC, "You've just got to be able to blame it on somebody.");
  AddMisery(MsgListC, "We have a solution...");
  AddMisery(MsgListC, "Just blame Dennis!");
  AddMisery(MsgListC, "(a free service of the Wolfstone Group)");


  function MakeMessage(MessageArray, Between)
  {
    var BuiltMsg="";
    var iMsg;

    for (iMsg=0; iMsg<MessageArray.length; ++iMsg)
    {
      BuiltMsg += MessageArray[iMsg] + Between;
    }
    return BuiltMsg;
  }

}